Only a short note tonight. Recently my emotions have been quite low. "Pit of despair" maybe - though not quite that low. Regardless, my motivation for doing anything except vegging (wonder if my UK readers have that word) out infront of the tube. The seasons are changing, the weather is warming up, and I feel lathargic. I have been trying to pull myelf out if it, but every time I look at myself in the mirror down I fall. So what's bothering me....
Well first is my weight. A few short years ago (right before I started writing RABBIT SLAYER) I was energetic, slim, and loved to exercise. The pitfalls over the few years has made keeping that body impossible. Now I've ballooned out and lost all my endurance (can you believe I used to run marathons and Half-Ironman triathlons?). Next is my financial situation. Though I have a job and I am working on paying off the debt incurred during the past few years, I still have little money left. Lastly, this whole adventure into writing a novel. I know I should be happy that I finished it (well I wrote the story) but I want it to be good enough to publish. And I am finding that the road to seeing it on the shelves is an uphill battle - in the wind - while storming - without shoes.
I will do this. I will pull myself out of my funk and I will see this book thing to the end. Even if it means that it'll never be good enough for publication. Point is - if I don't try I'll always wonder "what if".
Sorry for the downer post, but it helps to vent from time to time. So is the life of a writer.