Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Rollercoaster of Emotions

Only a short note tonight. Recently my emotions have been quite low. "Pit of despair" maybe - though not quite that low. Regardless, my motivation for doing anything except vegging (wonder if my UK readers have that word) out infront of the tube. The seasons are changing, the weather is warming up, and I feel lathargic. I have been trying to pull myelf out if it, but every time I look at myself in the mirror down I fall. So what's bothering me....

Well first is my weight. A few short years ago (right before I started writing RABBIT SLAYER) I was energetic, slim, and loved to exercise. The pitfalls over the few years has made keeping that body impossible. Now I've ballooned out and lost all my endurance (can you believe I used to run marathons and Half-Ironman triathlons?). Next is my financial situation. Though I have a job and I am working on paying off the debt incurred during the past few years, I still have little money left. Lastly, this whole adventure into writing a novel. I know I should be happy that I finished it (well I wrote the story) but I want it to be good enough to publish. And I am finding that the road to seeing it on the shelves is an uphill battle - in the wind - while storming - without shoes.

I will do this. I will pull myself out of my funk and I will see this book thing to the end. Even if it means that it'll never be good enough for publication. Point is - if I don't try I'll always wonder "what if".

Sorry for the downer post, but it helps to vent from time to time. So is the life of a writer.


  1. Sorry you are feeling down Kirk.:(
    I think the battle - no shoes, sloshing in the rain etc - batters us all. It's hard not to let everything come crashing down on us from time to time. But keep going. You will get there. I'm cheering you on.
    Oh yeah...we do use the term vegging out here in the UK.:)

  2. Hey Kirk,
    Pit of despair? At least you don't have suction cups stuck to every inch of your body and even under your eyelids. A la Princess Bride.
    Seriously, though. I'm sorry that things are feeling so low right now. Things will get better. And you are making your MS so much better so it can really sit on that shelf at B & N someday. You can do it! One day at a time, especially with all the other setbacks in your life too.
    Good luck!

  3. Kirk--I can so relate to how you feel. I don't know if shared misery makes the burden lighter for either person, or only adds weight...LOL...but just know you're not the only person with these kinds of issues.

    I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I'll say it just in case...I think your novel sounds very intriguing--the kind of intriguing where I'm dying to read it. I've read a lot of queries and blogs and the such online, but your book sits at the top of my list of interests from other aspring authors.

    So, I'm hanging on to hope with you that you reach your goals and get this baby published. I'll be one of your first customers!