The Dreaded First Page

I say the dreaded first page, but it really starts at the first word. The first sentence. The first paragraph. I'ts all tied together in a delicate balance that must be synchned perfectly or the whole thing comes crumbling down.

What am I talking about? Well the list of firsts in a novel. There are books on the subject so I'm not going to rant on what has alrady been discussed. Instead allow me to rant on my thoughts about the subject.

1st. Is the first word. How simple can that be? Surprisingly not simple at all it seems. I once, a long time ago, read that you don't want to start any work with the first word as "the". It went on to explain why, but suffice to say I have an adversion to starting work with the word. So what else are no-nos in my mind. Well - names are next on the list followed by quotes. Oh and let's not forget words that are three letters or less. Now its narrowed down and we find out first word.

Next we move on to the first sentence. The hook. That first word has to fit with the hook to make it work. The hook has got to jump off the page and grab the reader on the nose and drag them into the second sentence. Of course the hook would not be complete if the first paragraph doesn't complete the thought that the hook genereated.

That first paragraph will be setting the tone - introduce your voice, the POV, and your pace. Yikes! That's a tall order. And that is where I am having the biggest problem. But this isn't where it stops. Now we have to finish out that first page. The first page will continue to enforce the pace, introduce the opening scene, and most importantly tease the reader into turning to the next page. If we can't get the reader to move past that first page - we are sunk.

So here I sit - struggling with that first page. Making changes - sending it to my few trusted readers and stir in agony until they reply. Man does it kill me to wait. Is it good enough, will they hate it, will they even respond. There is 299 more pages beyond that one all riding on the first.

It's enough to drive a person mad!!!

What to Do Next

Been debating on where I should go next. I'm in a lull until I get responses from beta readers, so I feel like I should be doing something. Should I begin book II of the Alice Chronicles, or work on the companion to book I, or outline several other stories that have been rolling around in my head for the past two years? So many choices - I think that I'll head over to the gym and run a few miles to clear my head.

Yeah I'm strange that way...

Draft 3 - Done

Last night I finished up the revision on the final chapters. It feels like another step closer to getting this book published. I did manage to get the word count down below 100K and hopefully its enough for more serious offers. So what next??

Well I'm going to do some editing based on comments I've recieved from the writer critique groups I'm involved in then I'll compile it into a single pdf file. I'm actively looking for beta reader and hope to get the pdf out to them by the end of the week. While I'm waiting for comments from my beta readers I'll be reading the book myself - and out loud. Once it's polished up from the reviews I'll start sending out queries and pray.

Interested in being a beta reader? Let me know.

Wondering and Watching

Several months ago when I queried my monsterous 180K novel I got a form rejection on my full manuscript less than 24 hours after sending it in. Being new to the game I wasn't about to accept a form rejection on a full. I mean, their okay for a query but for a full? I want more than that. So I snapped off a polite email asking what specifically didn't pass the muster. I got similarliy formal response about how the writing didn't "grab" him and that the business is "subjective". Yada yada yada. But then something caught my attention.

He said that there was a lot of "wondering" and "watching" going on.

Huh? I was kinda stuck by that. Well yeah, people watch and people wonder - what's the big deal?

Well as I approach the ending of my latest draft I'm fully aware of what was meant. Here is an example of what I just edited.

original: "Alice watched as Emily lifted the door and put in front of the fireplace."
As I look at this now I see that the "Alice watched" is redundant since the chapter is taken from her POV anyway. The line could do just as well without the "Alice watched as". Which is what I deleted. Wow - three more words off my count.

Throughout my manuscript I have noticed where I have done that. Adding a "wonder" or a "watch" - even the "looked" (or what ever other synonoms I managed to find) significantly added to my word count. More importantly it slowed down the pacing of the story like a literary speed bump. Pacing in stories are so important in today's literature. If the story is paced too slow the reader is going to put it down. No matter HOW interesting the topic is - or who the writer is. Honestly, I stopped reading Stephen King because his pacing has gotten sooo sloooow. It's a shame because I love his ideas.

When I am done with the draft, I'll have to go back and read for these "speed bumps" in my writing. I wonder does anyone else have examples of "speed bumps"?

Where do Ideas Come From?

I've read that people ask that question all the time. I've also seen book on the topic of generating ideas - or breaking through a mental block. From these tidbits I assume that the problem is out there, but I wonder "really?" Is it really hard to come up with ideas. I mean I get so many ideas for stories that I don't know what to write sometimes.

Take for example as story from the latest webNews. Richard Zimmerman, a cave dwelling loner in Idaho dies at 94. WOW! The obit goes on to explain that "Caveman Dick" has lived in his apartment complex of caves since 1947 - without t.v., a telephone, or electricity. The possiblity of stories from that man's life is so bountiful. Next story on the list announces lucrative summer jobs. Seriously. A job on a cruise ship! "Die Hard on the High Seas".

Ideas are all around us, we writers just need to know where to look and "how" to look with our imagination. We can even find ideas within our dreams (um... "Twilight"). I've had a few of them, though I have yet to make them into full stories.

The most common question I get now is "where did RABBIT SLAYER come from?" Sure you might THINK it was "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" but the truth is the idea came from a song. Many years ago I found an MP3 clip of a song that was a parody of Elmer Fudd hunting rabbits. I thought "how cool would it be to see something like that in story form?" Then while taking a shower I fused the song with Carroll's book to get a little story for my daughter. The little story has now morphed into the book and series that I call "The Alice Chronicles".

My point is: ideas are all around us. We just need to look with our imagination - asking ourselves "What could I do with it?" There we go an idea is formed. Try this little exercise - go out into our local city square, some place populated and watch what goes on around you. What catches your eye - then let your imagination take over and create a snippet of a story showing that scene.

That is just one exercise I use to keep up the creativity. There are tons more. What exercises do you use to help generate ideas?

Active & Passive writing

As I've been editing/revising I've begun to take notice of the "voice" of my sentence structure. The voice I'm referring to isn't the writing style that voice is usually associated with. I'm referring more toward the tone of the voice. I know that there is a better way to explain it - I'm just too ignorant to know it. So I am going to use an example from a line I currently revised.

"The view of the gathering was revealed to Alice when the executioner fell forward."
This was my original line. I once read that when revising you need to identify "active" or "passive" in your writing. An active voice has Cause then Effect while a passive shows the Effect follow by the cause. In fiction writing the writers wants to build tension and the active voice helps build that down to the sentence level. My example above shows the effect "gathering was reveled" before the cause "the executioner fell forward". This is a passive voice. So I switched the cause and effect - here is my revised sentence.

"The executioner fell forward revealing to Alice the view of the gathering below."
With this revised sentence even though the story is told in a past tense the reader gets the feeling of the action happening - thus the active voice. Now that I've written it this way the second sentence will need to be revised - and the rest of that paragraph. Regardless of the amount of revisions if I keep the tension of the writing up the reader will be compelled to continue with the story.

I'm not an English major (or been very attentive in High School English) so I might not be using the correct words for the "active" and "passive" writing. Feel free to correct me. The fact remains that we need to keep a look out for lapses into "passive" voice (not to mention the use of our "crutch words"). We writers want to hold our reader's attention so that they can't put the book down. If we can do that, they'll want to pick up another of our stories. Which means a demand for future books. See - the salesman is taking over.

An April Update

Just a quick note to record my progress on the revision/edit of draft 3. I'm currently working on chapter 22. I have cut out a large portion in the center that has no bearing on the revised "trimmer" story line. It's relevant to the overall story happening in Wonderland, but we're saving that for the next book aren't we?

I've edited the first section of the chapter and I have also jumped to the last section and switched the POV from Beth to Emily. The last section was mostly dialogue so the revision was a snap. I think next I'll work on the King's death scene. Originally I wrote it from the POV of the Queen of Hearts. With the new story line it's not going to work. I'm debating on just how much of the scene Emily is going to see. I can only put in what Emily sees because Alice is occupied with killing guards.

Well that is where I am at. Anyone want to share their current status in "Revision Hell"?