Alice Intro

Muffins. That’s what I’m really good at. Forget the cupcake crap, give me a good muffin. When I retire from being the Alice, I think that is what I’ll do. Bake muffins.  Being the Alice is a job I’ve had now for longer than I care to remember. So many White Rabbits have died by my hands and still so many innocents have been lost. The job isn’t done and another will have to take my place. And so the chain continues. 

Nearly two centuries ago a young girl survived a harrowing experience in a world under the woodlands. A friend of the family, wrote her memoirs down as a warning to others. After pressure and possible persecution from the English Church the memoirs were written in the form of non-sensical fairytale. So Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland became a popular tale, but it’s true meaning was lost. The young girl decided that she would put an end to abductions. When she got too old, she passed her knowledge to another — one other. And so the tradition continues. Each new Alice adding to the knowledge of those that came before her. Over time the collection of memoirs and notes have become The Alice Chronicles. 

My time to retire is way overdue. I had hoped to be the last, but even with the chronicles there is much of Wonderland we don’t know. For every rabbit hole I close another two are opened. Like the first Alice I was a fool to think that I can stop Wonderland. I must find another — one other. 

Days, weeks, and months pass and I have neglected my blog. What is the world coming to? Well, life catches up to all of us. So what has been happening in the world of The Alice Chronicles? Lessee...

August of 2011, Dawn Frederick @ Red Sofa Literary, has agreed to represent RABBIT SLAYER. She did, however, have a little suggestion. That suggestion resulted in a complete rewrite. I also hired an editor to review and um... edit the manuscript. That took the rest of 2011. This past weekend I have sent the completed, edited, version to the editor and now I am waiting to see what mistakes I've made. So now I am out to review my social media and begin building up a fan base. Got suggestions, please let me know.

So until next time....

Creatures in the Night

With many thanks to dear friends I have completed the rewrite of the first chapter to RABBIT SLAYER. The opening paragraph surprisingly turned out to be already written, but buried a page or so down the first draft. I wrote the passage, not realizing that it could be a great opening, but at the same time meeting my requirements for a chapter opening. Here is that passage...

Strange creatures of the city lurked in the night, especially on the subway. Near the middle of the car sat an albino with his head resting against the window. Though he moved with the rocking of the train, his red glazed eyes remained fixed on some distant point. The swirling illusion created by his hypnotic black and white striped vest forced Emily to turn away. Further down sat a large person in an oversized gray hoody. The hood cast a shadow over the occupant’s face, making it difficult to tell about the person inside. The hooded head turned toward Emily. A pair of green, glowing orbs stared at her from the shadowed face, a hungry wolf eyeing a lone rabbit. 

I have since renamed the chapter to "Creatures of the Night". I find that the metaphor being used here and within the chapter is reminisce the collection of subtle metaphors utilized throughout the book. The analogy used as the ending of the paragraph taking on a significance which is contradictory to the content. In all I am happy with this new first chapter. I just hope that it moves readers more than the original opening chapter in the rave.

As for status of the book. I have resubmitted (with permission) the revised manuscript to both the publisher and the agent that are currently 'considering' it. Once again I am having to exercise the single trait that haunts my life -- patience.

In other news.... I have been contacted by an upcoming musical artist from Georgia wanting to use RABBIT SLAYER as a basis of his band. He indicated that he was attracted to the 'dark' imagery I apply to the series. Before I'm going to provide an approval to use the character(s) I suggested he review the story. He has accepted is reviewing a partial and should be contacting me in a few days.

---

I have been working on developing an outline for the next volume of THE ALICE CHRONICLES. I do have a working title, FAMILY TIES, and have a basic concept of what will transpire (book objective). However, I am thinking that I may need to incorporate more darker themes than I did in RABBIT SLAYER. What those elements shall be I'm not certain.

Wonderland will also take a larger role in FAMILY TIES. I'm thinking that the areas traveled by the characters will paint a darker picture. Perhaps hints of a more vital, happier time should be presented. At the moment I have not decided. What I have decided are the characters that take a role in the majority of the volume. Emily will return as the MC. I'll bring back Dinah and the Mad Hatter, both with larger roles. Neko and the Caterpillar will also have supporting roles. I'm considering creating a character named "The Jack of Spades" (Jack for short) as the active antagonist. The Ace and Alice will have minor roles, but spear-head the story objective.

More to come...

A New Year

Wow - its been July since I posted here. Much happened in my life, but the book sits idle.

Alice Chronicles is an series wanting to be written, but I'm plagued with doubts and uncertainty considering Rabbit Slayer has not moved. One agent has the manuscript and comments that it is on her "shortlist". Until I get a phone call with an offer of representation nothing is done. Hopes and dreams remain as such.

In the latter part of the year I did join the local Writer's Workshop group. Prior to sending my manuscript to the agent I read the first chapter to the group. The beating I took was horrid. I almost didn't send the manuscript in due to the scathing reviews received. During the break a local writer and publisher offered some advice to me. Based on her suggestions I've decided to rewrite the opening sequence for RS.

The objectives of the chapter will not change nor will the end result. But the setting will be drastically different. I also plan on cranking up the suspense and emotions that will result in Emily's guilt being more genuine and endearing to the reader. I have completed the outline and will begin working on the three parts today.

Oh and in other news - I crossed over and bought a MacBook Pro. Why I never went Mac before is now unknown to me. I love the computer and the intuitive operating system. Not to mention I purchased a software called Scrivener. In my opinion the package is beyond any other writing software available today. I have imported all my ideas into Scrivener and have been working on learning the software. I just hope it helps me write better.

Days Continue

More days continue with more work to do in less time, more rejections on the book, and life sucking more out of me than I really want to give. I keep thinking that there is an end to all the madness at some point. An end that doesn't entell death. Hehehe... Yeah I'm morbid. Did I mention that I used to write macbre and horror in my youth. Perhaps that is why my mother never read anything I wrote... Go figure.

I've slacked off the writing for a few days while the air conditioning is restored to the house. Not that I am actually writing/editing in the house, but after spending hours in a hot house in the middle of summer I'm not really in the mood to write outstanding prose.

The air is fixed and I am in a better mood - now I'm just wondering where that outstanding prose is lurking. I've decided to visit my local Starbucks establishment for a bit of inspiration and an infusion of activity. And would you believe - its not an ice box today. Well think I'll sign off from blogging so that I can focus on the writing.

TX in July

Wow, it's amazing how hard heat is on things. Texas weather is hot - +95F and over 40% humidity. This weekend the AC on the house decides it is giving up and retiring. On a weekend. Couldn't have done it on a week day when we can call service. Really inconvenient. And to top it off SB has to crank up the AC so cold I can't sit inside for more than an hour without suffering hypothermia.

Oh was I supposed to write about the book??

It's there. Waiting patiently for me to continue editing chapter 16. Removing those pesky crutch words. Still no word for the partials I have out there. Guess its time to send out more queries.

An Update

Into July 2010 and the weeks have flown by without a post to my blog. Life puts incredible demands on ones time and efforts. One must work to survive and to live one must survive. At this point I am stuck in the survival mode. Days pass by in a blur with only an occasional respite to reflect on the living part. I have not backed off from the RABBIT SLAYER - in fact I've been surging forward.

I currently have several queries floating out in cyberspace and have two agents currently reviewing part of my manuscript. Patience is once again a lesson I am having to learn. The two agents looking at the story have indicated it may be up to 10 weeks before I get a response. Ouch. Until then I'll continue to chug away and polishing the book. From past readers I have learned that I did not eliminate all of my crutch words. I use the pronoun "she" extensively - so I am rewriting many sentences to remove excess. Many of the critiques I received commented that I also rely too much on the passive "was". I've found it difficult not to use the word entirely, but I have learned how to use it sparingly. As for the "that" and "had" words, I've also learned that if the sentence sounds correct without the word - delete them.

I'm currently reviewing chapter 16 and seem to be able to do at least two chapters a day if I can remain focused on the task. I've gotten little response from the 25 or so Beta readers I gave the story to, but I think the work is at a point where the readers will not provide additional benefit. I know the story line is sound, the imagery is decent, and my character development is unique for each. Sub-plots and cliff hangers move the story forward and drive the reader to continue.

I think my trouble with getting responses from beta readers stem from reading online. Sitting at a computer for hours at a time reading a book isn't appealing to most people. I know that the eBook thing is kicking off and has a strong following, but unfortunately Kindle doesn't load pdf files - and even if it did none of my beta readers own one. I have promised a teenage boy in PA that I would send the book to him. Other than him and my wife I'll keep the story to myself and agents until it is published. (Notice I am trying to be positive in saying that it WILL be published.)

Oh and if anyone knows how to center the picture in the header - PLEASE tell me.

The KEWL Factor

Somtime during the writing of RABBIT SLAYER I wrote a sort of short story based on the my characters. The story originally was the opening sequence before I morphed it into an event that would occur AFTER the story. Either way I felt it was cool. Lots of action and was filled with graphic descriptions. On a whim I sent it to an English teacher for his opinion. After reading the story he introduced me to the KEWL factor.

KEWL, as he put it, is writing a scene for the reason of being cool - or desiring a shock value. When the writer places more attention and description on the action than on the rest of the piece (s)he had introduced the KEWL factor. It's an interesting concept and one I have tried to keep aware of since then. You'll see kewl in many high action or high graphical effect movies. Tim Burton's new adaptation of Carroll's classic is an example of where the visuals over shadowed the story. The movie went from cool to kewl.

Recently I have been reading others work in my online critque groups. I enjoy a good action book - one of my favorite geners - but I have been seeing more kewl than cool. It is easy to picture writers salivating as they write these supercharged, adreniline filled scenes with little attention to story itself. Blowing shit up my look cool in Hollywood, but in a book there should be a reason for why the explosion occurs. Let's face facts here - shooting a gas tank in a car with a pistol will not create a massive fire ball that will burn down a half the city. THAT is KEWL not COOL.

The Itch to Write

The long weekend is over and I'm back at work. Even though its a short week I'm dreading the Monday(ish) blues. But I'm not here to write about this upcoming week, instead, I'd like to reflect on the past weekend and the itch to write.

I've stayed out of the RABBIT SLAYER for nearly two weeks with only an occassional edit here and there as I get trickles of feedback from beta readers. My mind has drifted over what to write next. I have thought about the next step in Emily's life and I have thought about the history of the Alice Legacy. I want to start the next book (even if this one doesn't sell). The only question is where to go.

I feel that a writer must write what he or she feels most passionate about. If that is the case then I write the beginning of the Alice Legacy, but I was wanting to release that story last. I could always venture to one of the 4 other story ideas I have.

I wonder - how does other writers decide what to write next when they get the itch to write?

The Act of She

Wow, almost a week since my last post. Been nearly a week away from a computer. The ramp at work and bringing a new line to life has left me with little to no time. Coupling that has been my renewed interest in getting the excess weight off my body. Which leads me to my topic for today - cutting excess weight from the manuscript.

Recently I have learned that the iPhone can open emails with PDF attachments. So knowing this I sent myself and my wife the manuscript in PDF to our phones. Over a casual dinner we can pull up the manuscript and discuss what works and what doesn't. During one of these discussion I spotted an excessive amount of the word "she" in the draft.

Tenchnically there is nothing wrong with using the word, except when repeating it four times in one paragraph. So I have become determined to reduce the amount of 'she' words in the manuscript. I started yesterday with the first chapter. The delimma I was faced with was how to find them all. I could print out the chapter then attack it with a highlighter (which I have done in the past). The problem is that I alrady have a 8 inch stack of paper for this book (yeah - I've saved every print out related to the book). The answer came yesterday while teaching people how to use MS Word at work.

MS Word has a "find" function. Most people use it to locate unique words in a document. Word 2007 also has a "replace" function. "Replace" is great for changing an occurance of a word with another - like changing a name. While showing this function I noticed the "replace" function has a "more" option. It turns out that you can change the format (such as font color) of a specific word. So I went into chapter 1 and had all the "she" words replaced with red font. Bingo. I instantly saw all the "she" and was able to correct the repitition problem.

Next step is to use it to find "was", "had", "were", "saw", and every other crutch word I like to repeat when I get lazy. I think it'll also work to change the font on the letters 'ly' so I can fix those pesky words too. I love learning about new features that save me time.

It's Friday!!!

I have not been so happy to have a Friday come to an end in such a long time. Work has been crazy. 120 people trained in one week on a program that the company has never worked before. There is more to be done to get them up and running, but we have made major strides.

Nothing to do with the book really, other than I haven't even opened the thing all week. I've been considering what to do at this point and the more time I ponder the more I think that printing the book and reading it aloud will be the next best step to creating a polished piece. The only that has responded to reading the book in the current draft is my mother - believe it or not. Mom - the woman that hasn't read a book in nearly a decade - the same woman that never read any of my school papers growing up - the woman that thinks that newspaper is only good for house training dogs. She actually read it. Her response? "Well, I was bored a lot and there were words I didn't know." Go figure.

Anyway she did point out a few areas that I may be able to cut to quicken the pace and remove more words. At the moment I am below 95K words. I could loose another 5K without really affecting where it is now. It really feels like I am spending more time editing this book than it took to write it!

I've been thinking of the 'what next'. I'm really feeling compelled to write the beginning of the chronicles. I really wanted to release that story last, but my mind constantly drifts back to Alice Liddel's story and her relationship with Charles Lutwidge Dogdson. The real story is facinating and leaves so much open to interpetation. My whole concept fits really well into history. Sort of a historical fiction / fantasy / steampunk thought going. Hmmmm.....

Work

Yeah, I know that I haven't posted in a while. Not much toward the book has happened since my last post. The ciritque group is humming along, but I've taken a back seat there for a while. My biggest issue at the moment is exhaustion. Work has me running ragged so by the time I get home I just want to sleep. To add to this today and tomorrow will be late days due to orchestra. Our final concert of the 2009-2010 season is tomorrow. Yay!!!

So where am I with the book? Well, I have removed an additional chapter to get the reader into the meat of the story quicker. I've also moved the rave scene back to the beginning. Now I am back to fighting that freaking first sentence. Here is where it is at for the moment:

"Surrounded by the industrial celebration of candy colored teenagers, Emily sat feeling alone and abandonded with a healty dose of fear."

Well... At least that is where it stands now. I haven't gotten any feedback on the sentence from anyone yet. I've been waiting before sending out queries until feedback comes back. It's all quite from the 20 or so people I sent out the 4th draft to (with the old sentence). I may read over it this weekend - out loud.

Let's see....

The Rollercoaster of Emotions

Only a short note tonight. Recently my emotions have been quite low. "Pit of despair" maybe - though not quite that low. Regardless, my motivation for doing anything except vegging (wonder if my UK readers have that word) out infront of the tube. The seasons are changing, the weather is warming up, and I feel lathargic. I have been trying to pull myelf out if it, but every time I look at myself in the mirror down I fall. So what's bothering me....

Well first is my weight. A few short years ago (right before I started writing RABBIT SLAYER) I was energetic, slim, and loved to exercise. The pitfalls over the few years has made keeping that body impossible. Now I've ballooned out and lost all my endurance (can you believe I used to run marathons and Half-Ironman triathlons?). Next is my financial situation. Though I have a job and I am working on paying off the debt incurred during the past few years, I still have little money left. Lastly, this whole adventure into writing a novel. I know I should be happy that I finished it (well I wrote the story) but I want it to be good enough to publish. And I am finding that the road to seeing it on the shelves is an uphill battle - in the wind - while storming - without shoes.

I will do this. I will pull myself out of my funk and I will see this book thing to the end. Even if it means that it'll never be good enough for publication. Point is - if I don't try I'll always wonder "what if".

Sorry for the downer post, but it helps to vent from time to time. So is the life of a writer.

Critique Mishaps

As I think I stated before I decided to join a few online critique groups. But I'm finding it to be a challenge. I'm getting a crash course on the personalities of writers. Mine included. While some people take criticism well some take it really hard. I can't really blame them - we writers put so much of ourselves into the stories we can't help but to take comments a little personal.

Case in point is a recent posting for a writer in our group. The opening chapter was long and - in my opinion - was overwhelming the reader with tons of information on characters, society, and sociology. Granted the perspective is unique, but all in the first chapter is a bit heavy for a reader. I tried to explain this and a few other points in my critique. By the response I got back from the writer I felt as if she could she would have reached through her keyboard and smacked the hell out of me.

Critiques should be taken in a manner of being positive. Obviously some critique ARE personal attacks, but personally if I disagree with suggestions or critiques I file it away. If I get several that say the same thing than I'll look at it. If not then it is that person's opinion - they are entitled to it. Let's face it what we write isn't going to please EVERYONE. If we could, we'd be on the best sellers list week after week instead of struggling to get out our first book.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference....

Getting Away

This weekend I was afforded the opportunity to get away for the weekend. After months and months of constant attention to working on the book I take some time away. Living in Texas allows for some beautiful weather and being in the north east we have some outstanding scenery. Weather is a key factor when driving the back roads of our country on a motorcycle.

The Dallas / Fort Worth area is known as a transistional area. The area to the east is wooded and filled with rivers, streams and lakes. The area to the west have open rolling hills and vasts plains. Our trip this past weekend took us east, through small towns and villages established nearly a century ago. With the mind of a writer I absorbed the richness of these town - taking in each nuance of the buildings, the landscape, and the people.

The trip allowed my brain to relax and in a way recharge with creativity. To break beyond the strict confines of editing. To allow my imagination to flurish with possibilties. I'm hoping at as I return to editing the RABBIT SLAYER I can work on the prose in imagitive ways - to remember that editing does not have to be stoic. It too can be a creative process - one line at a time.

The pinnacle of the weekend occuried when I arrived home and read the English project written by my daughter. The project was to use a multi-medium (she called it genere) work that depicts the life of a fictional character based on historical relatives. My daughter choose the life of her great-great grandmother. A woman that immigrated from Germany in the late 1800s with a toddler. Not a lot is known of her, but my daughter did a splendid job of using multiple writing techniques to depict an immigrants life in New Work at the turn of the century and beyond. It is an excellent piece of work - and I'm not just saying that because I'm her father. - Well maybe I am. Seriously, sometimes I am amazed at the mind of my child. If only I had the imagination she appears to possess.

Family Ties

Last night I began outlinning book two of THE ALICE CHRONICLES called FAMILY TIES. At first I just stated at a white screen and wondered what to do next. I then decided to follow what I did with book one and see what follows through. Here is what I did and plan on doing to begin the next installment.

First I wrote out the objectives. The things that I wanted to accomplish in this book. These will be the sub-plots that move along with the story. The problem I faced was looking for the catalyst. What is going to raise the stakes enough to warrant the book. For this I looked to my idea that I had planned for book three. It clicked. Everything fell into place in my mind and I know it'll work. Leaves me a little dry for the catalyst in book three, but its too early to worry about that one.

As I have mentioned in the past, my problem over the years was coming up with an end of a story. It was what allowed me to do RABBIT SLAYER. I knew the beginning, the middle, and the end before I started. So for FAMILY TIES I have done the same. I wrote out the beginning, the middle, and then the end (well sort of). It is like writing a query at this point - more of a note to myself of what will happen in each section.

Once I completed that I began writing a chapter by chapter outline. My outline is more like a guidline to the chapter. For example "Chapter 1: Emily wakes up in Alice's apartment with a splitting headache. Emily will attempt to leave, but is stopped by Alice..." and so on. Nothing really formal, again just notes for me to at least get a feel for what will happen in the book. No real details unless there are specific imagery I want to put there. Last night I got as far a chapter 4. That's kind of where things started to get complicated and will need more thought.

Now when I am done with my outline I do not for a second believe that the ending book will flow exactly the way I wrote in the outline. I am not so rigid that I don't allow the story to take over. I know that when I wrote RABBIT SLAYER the sotry flowed down paths I hadn't considered. That is the beauty of wiriting allowing the story to write itself. So I have to go back and modify the outline to allow for the new twists. The end result remains mostly the same.

So this is my method. An outliner that gravitates to organic when in the flow. What are the methods you use for starting a new book?

Is it a New Idea?

This past weekend I browsed the local book store while the wife shopped nearby. I really had no intention of buying anything, just wanted to look. I first checked out the fantasy and YA generes to see what new books were populating the selves - and to see if I recognized any. And it was some where along my search that a title jumped out and grabbed hold of my imagination.

Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Hunter

OMG! What a title - what a concept. It stopped me dead in my tracks. Granted I have seen "Pride, Prejudice, and Zombie" - even bought the book for my daughter - but the interest was no where as great as when I saw the Lincoln book. I had to see what the author had done with his life story. Amazing. It appears that he had created a secret life of the president - all associated to vampires. It was so intriguing that I had to buy the book (and seeing how it was 30% off - a bargin too).

My wife and I talked about the concept on the way home. I told her that I wasn't certain what gravitated me to the book when I had passed over others. She felt that was probably due to the fact that I had done something similar. Really? How so? She explained that I too had taken a known classic, put a dark twist on it, and made it my own.

I'm still not certain that I did what Stephan did in his book. So I start to wonder, is this a new idea or one taken to the extereme? I know of "Wicked" a twist on "The Wizard of Oz", but are there any more?

The Dreaded First Page

I say the dreaded first page, but it really starts at the first word. The first sentence. The first paragraph. I'ts all tied together in a delicate balance that must be synchned perfectly or the whole thing comes crumbling down.

What am I talking about? Well the list of firsts in a novel. There are books on the subject so I'm not going to rant on what has alrady been discussed. Instead allow me to rant on my thoughts about the subject.

1st. Is the first word. How simple can that be? Surprisingly not simple at all it seems. I once, a long time ago, read that you don't want to start any work with the first word as "the". It went on to explain why, but suffice to say I have an adversion to starting work with the word. So what else are no-nos in my mind. Well - names are next on the list followed by quotes. Oh and let's not forget words that are three letters or less. Now its narrowed down and we find out first word.

Next we move on to the first sentence. The hook. That first word has to fit with the hook to make it work. The hook has got to jump off the page and grab the reader on the nose and drag them into the second sentence. Of course the hook would not be complete if the first paragraph doesn't complete the thought that the hook genereated.

That first paragraph will be setting the tone - introduce your voice, the POV, and your pace. Yikes! That's a tall order. And that is where I am having the biggest problem. But this isn't where it stops. Now we have to finish out that first page. The first page will continue to enforce the pace, introduce the opening scene, and most importantly tease the reader into turning to the next page. If we can't get the reader to move past that first page - we are sunk.

So here I sit - struggling with that first page. Making changes - sending it to my few trusted readers and stir in agony until they reply. Man does it kill me to wait. Is it good enough, will they hate it, will they even respond. There is 299 more pages beyond that one all riding on the first.

It's enough to drive a person mad!!!

What to Do Next

Been debating on where I should go next. I'm in a lull until I get responses from beta readers, so I feel like I should be doing something. Should I begin book II of the Alice Chronicles, or work on the companion to book I, or outline several other stories that have been rolling around in my head for the past two years? So many choices - I think that I'll head over to the gym and run a few miles to clear my head.

Yeah I'm strange that way...

Draft 3 - Done

Last night I finished up the revision on the final chapters. It feels like another step closer to getting this book published. I did manage to get the word count down below 100K and hopefully its enough for more serious offers. So what next??

Well I'm going to do some editing based on comments I've recieved from the writer critique groups I'm involved in then I'll compile it into a single pdf file. I'm actively looking for beta reader and hope to get the pdf out to them by the end of the week. While I'm waiting for comments from my beta readers I'll be reading the book myself - and out loud. Once it's polished up from the reviews I'll start sending out queries and pray.

Interested in being a beta reader? Let me know.